DOMESTIC ADOPTIONS

The Pacific Northwest Program is open and accepting applications! We have just completed several adoptions and are running low on families. How does this happen? Well, we try and balance the number of available families with the number of birth parents. Envision a "seesaw". Recently, we have been busy and successful, so we will be looking for families who are ready for the adoption adventure. If you are interested in applying, contact Deborah at daronson@heritageadoption.org.

Pacific Northwest Q & A

Q: How do we adopting parents really get chosen by a birth parent? Do you make it happen?

A: We don't want to be responsible for "matching" birth and adoptive parents unless a birth parent absolutely insists we "do the honors".

Why? It's a big responsibility, a life long decision and we think it is better the "principal players" make those choices. Only a couple times in the course of a year are we asked to make such a momentous decision. At Heritage, the choosing isn't "one way". Birth and adopting parents "choose" each other. Birth parents are in counseling, deciding on the qualities and values they want in the family who will raise their child. They are deciding on the most important points for them, in an Adoption Agreement. Running a dual track, adopting families are attending the classes, developing their Family Albums/Resumes, completing their Home Study process and defining their own desires for an adoptive placement. This culminates for the family in their Preference Questionnaire, the document which guides us as we decide which books to show a birth parent. When the time comes for a birth parent to choose a family, they look at the books meeting their general criteria, with a couple books thrown in for unusual contrast. Clarifying questions are asked of us and we do our best to advocate for our families, giving anecdotes from class or other meetings we have had with a family. The birth parent will have assembled the medical records from the  pregnancy, completed their Genetic and Health History information, Social History assessment and pictures.  We ask our birth parent clients to have in mind a couple families, as we can never be sure a first match will work. We present the birth parent information to the adoptive family. If the family is interested in proceeding, either a match phone call or match meeting is held, with Sue or Deborah. From this meeting the adoption planning proceeds. There is nothing especially scientific about the process of making this all come together. It is more intuitive and emotional than intellectual. We KNOW there is a good family for every birth parent who decides to place a child for adoption. Similarly, if a family desires to parent, a baby is "out there", waiting to come home.

DO WE HAVE YOUR RESUME?

Our advertising and marketing runs to the Oregon Coast seem to be paying off at last! Last week we were very pleased to receive three phone calls from birth mothers with sand between their toes. Two of them came from a referral source we've been cultivating for many months, and the third saw our ad in her local newspaper.

Of course, right away we sent all three information about the agency and about adoption in general. We were pleased also to be able to include the one-page resumes of two of our families. It gives birth mothers an idea of the families available, and sometimes they are immediately attracted to one of those families, and wind up choosing one of them.

Was your resume one of those we sent? Only if we have some of yours! Currently only two families have resumes in our files. If you'd like more information about putting resumes together, call Sue at (503) 233-1099, X16 or email her at sthorough@heritageadoption.org.

WHAT IS THE NORTH AMERICAN CONNECTION?

The North American Connection was founded in October 1998, after it became patently clear that there was no support group in the UK solely dedicated to post-adoption support for those who had adopted in North America, nor anywhere for their children to meet other American-born children. It also became apparent that there was little or no information regarding the processes, legalities and practicalities of adoptions in the United States.

TNAC is run, as a support group, by adoptive parent volunteers. Our aim is to provide families, who have already adopted, with post adoption support. We also wish to establish a relaxed and friendly environment where American-born adopted children can meet and interact, knowing that they are not alone. In addition, we want to help families, through information, guidance and support, in their journey to becoming parents.

It was true then and is still true today that there are many myths and misconceptions, if not misinformation, regarding adoptions in the United States. TNAC tries to separate myths from truths.

If families become aware, currently mostly through the grapevine, that adoptions in the United States are possible, they have little or no information on how to proceed, how to check the legalities in the States and the UK, who to contact, how to go about it. TNAC is there to help them.

We publish a quarterly newsletter filled with interesting articles. We meet at least four times a year, so that our children can socialize and grow up with a healthy attitude towards adoption.

If you wish to know more about us or become a member, please contact: Cynthia Carnegie ­ TNAC Chairman on Tel; [01264] 361 346 or email her at cynthiaahc@aol.com

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INTERNATIONAL ADOPTIONS

DIRECT FROM HERITAGE FAMILIES:

"When we were in China adopting our second daughter through Heritage Adoption Services, we encountered a woman who was having to extend her stay in China for an additional two weeks because she did not have all the paperwork she needed to bring her Chinese daughter home. She was devastated. As we walked away, I turned to another adoptive mom in our group and said, "That's why I'll always go with Heritage. Ann would have never let this happen to us!" We have found other agencies who cost less or are seemingly less complicated in their paperwork, but for us, Heritage consistently gives us the peace of mind in knowing that when we go to China, there are no surprises, glitches or oversights in the paperwork. The adoption of our two girls, five years apart, have been smooth and easy. Ann and Vicki are dedicated, conscientious and thorough. They know their jobs and do them well. They are always friendly and professional and their love for what they do is obvious. We have enjoyed the tight-knit family feeling we have experienced with Heritage. Most of all, we sleep well at night, knowing that Ann and Vicki are looking out for us so that we might bring our children home, safe, expediently and sound "

- Janice and Ken

The following is an email I received from an Alaskan mom who has recently returned with her second daughter from China. For those of you who live in the "rain belt" as we do, this is for you:

"If you've never lived in a rainforest you may not be able to appreciate this as much as I did. We've had days of gray, cold, windy, rainy weather. When we woke up this morning there was a break in the clouds and I watched the sun come up. I told Cadi I thought it was going to be a sunny day. A couple hours later as we were driving to the grocery store. Cadi said, "You were right Mom, it is a sunny day." Then she said, "I like the sun." Took a deep breath and finished, "It smells like God." So how come I'm so blessed to have this child..."

- Marleen

LITTLE SISTERS

Over the many years (10) that we have been doing adoptions from China, we are now seeing several of our families returning to China for their second children, little sisters. Pictures speak louder than words:

THANK HEAVEN FOR KATHY!

A truly wonderful person awaits our families in China. Kathy Wang (Wang Qian) greets our families upon their arrival and guides them through every phase of their adoption and helps to arrange extra side trips for sightseeing and occasional visits to the orphanages of their children (not all orphanages permit visitation). The families rave about her efficiency with the paperwork and scheduling of sightseeing trips. She is wonderful with the children and very well connected with the officials in the provinces where the adoptions take place. Her command of English is very good, and her care of our families, excellent!

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