Our adoption journey began the way many do – with the pain of infertility.  When we had originally discussed whether or not to pursue infertility treatment, we agreed that our end goal was to have a family, and that ultimately the genetics didn’t matter to us.  However, we grieved the idea of missing out on the experience of a pregnancy, and so decided to give IVF a shot before we closed that door.  After the second round of IVF, we decided it was not meant to be, and began researching adoption agencies.

We were initially drawn to Heritage by the website – we liked that there was a strong emphasis on supporting families to make the decisions that would fit for them, without judgment (translation: we were scared of an open adoption and they assured us they would help educate us to make the best decision that would fit for our family).  We spent several hours on the phone with Deborah, asking lots of questions, and knew we were ready to commit to the application and education process.  We came to Portland for the weekend class from Seattle – and to be perfectly honest, we were worried that we were going to drive all that way for “some boring class they were making us take.”  That weekend was a turning point for us.  We arrived fearful of birth mothers, our heads filled with anxiety and fear, not to mention countless myths and misconceptions about adoption.  Sue was so amazing, full of good information and real life stories to help us understand what adoption was and was not, what “open” could mean, and what we could expect from the process.

Within 3 months, we got the dreamed of call – a birth mother wanted to meet us.  Sue explained that this birth mother was interested in a fairly open adoption, with a relationship much like extended family.  Oh dear.  All of our fears and insecurities were back.  However, when we met I think we all knew almost immediately it was a match.  She was due 2 months following our meeting, which gave us some time to all get to know each other better before the birth.  When she invited us to be present at the hospital, and for Jennifer to be present for the birth, our dreams of being involved in pregnancy were miraculously revived.  Our son Jacob was born, and we all fell in love with him together.

During the time we were in Portland for the birth, and at the hospital waiting for paperwork to be signed and for Jacob to be discharged, Sue was extremely supportive.  While our experience was very smooth, we definitely had several moments of extreme fear and anxiety, knowing that (as Sue and Deborah always say), with adoption, “it’s never over until it’s over.”   Sue was right there to support and calm us, always being kind, but never misleading us or “glossing over” the realities.

However, when it was time to leave the hospital, Jacob came home with us without a hitch.  Before we left, we all hugged and promised to call to let them know we got home safely.  Since Jacob’s birth (about 7 months ago at this writing), we have very much enjoyed the phone and email contact (as well as one visit) we have had with Jacob’s birth family.  They have truly become, as Jacob’s birth mother had hoped, like extended family.  Prior to this experience, we had so many fears of a birth family being “intrusive” or feeling that we would be “put out” by having to have contact.  In our situation, this has never been the case – Jacob’s birth family is filled with people who love him, who love us, and who we have come to love, as well.  We can’t ever imagine feeling “put out” when we get an email or call from his birth mother – we are just excited to hear how she is doing, and pleased to be able to tell her how Jacob is doing.  Our adoption story has been such a happy one, but certainly not without its ups and downs.  We could not have asked for better people than Heritage to walk with us on this journey – and we know when we are ready for another child, we won’t hesitate to make the same call again.

Jennifer and Chris